Harold is at it again.
No, not my brother Harold.
The other Harold.
The Harold that goes about setting dates for the second coming of Jesus, aka, the Rapture and the end of the world.
That Harold is at it again, predicting a date for the Rapture: May 21, 2011 is it, kaput, Harold says. May 22 will be – well, Harold’s second coming? He did this once before, you know, back in 1994. My advice: prepare for Harold’s encore, not the Rapture.
Meanwhile, however, please accept my apology. I am thoroughly embarrassed that anyone named Harold would engage in such nonsense.
But in spite of my chagrin, Harold Camping does, perhaps every 17 years?
You should know, however, that my brother Harold doesn’t. He wouldn’t. In fact, my brother Harold really wasn’t.
Wasn’t Harold, I mean. Hey, maybe that get’s him off the hook?
Let me explain.
Hanging Harold
I need to explain, first to get my brother Harold off the hook; second to hang, if possible, the other Harold on a hook of his own making, that of a false prophet; and third to keep you from climbing on the hook with Harold along with your bank account which he would like you to send him. Doing so, he implies, will make you lighter, more airworthy, and more likely to fly up to meet Jesus in the air when he comes on May 21.
Let’s see…that gives you less than five months to sell all and send the proceeds including savings to Camping. Better get going. We assume he will use your money to save souls in the chaos following the Rapture because he sure as hell is not going with you.
Why?
One, false prophets don’t get into heaven.
Two, there‘s no place in heaven for him to spend your money.
So three, Harold has no plans to go. Earthbound, baby, he is happy as Scrooge McDuck diving in dough, swimming in swag, doing the backstroke through the greenbacks.
Say bye, bye, to the money pie the dough for which Harold is rolling out right now. It is April Fool’s in January: there ain’t nobody going to heaven on May 21 except by way of Forest Lawn, Eternal Valley, Inglewood Memorial, or some such equivalent. If you think otherwise, I bet Harold’s got you by the bank account.
The other Harold, I mean, Harold Camping.
Not the Harold who wasn’t, Harold my brother.
The Harold who wasn’t
The Harold who wasn’t actually was christened “Arthur Paul Walter Martin.”
But they called him Harold.
Four given names, plus the family surname, but still they called him Harold.
Word was a maiden aunt who idolized him sort of took over the task of raising him after his mother’s death. That would be my father Arthur Gustav’s first wife. His second wife (and last, by the way) Myrtle was my mother. The maiden aunt disliked the given names Arthur, Paul, Walter, and Martin. On her own she called her motherless charge Harold.
The name stuck.
To me he was always Harold, my one and only big brother, even if in fact a half-brother. We shared the same Dad. But since cancer claimed Harold’s Mom, I came along in a second marriage, different mother.
Harold never spoke about his Mom. I’m not sure he remembered much. But as for Dad, after his death we often talked about how he modeled music and Bible study for Harold and me. I remember home as a place of copious outpourings of musically-accented Bible-centered family gatherings in between Sundays, which we spent at the church house, of course. That was Crystal Street Assembly of God in Elgin, Illinois, and later one or another of several Assemblies of God in Albuquerque, New Mexico.
Not that we were church hoppers. We certainly were not. Dad saw to that. It’s just that after leaving Elgin for Albuquerque we joined the newly founded First Assembly of God on Second Street downtown Albuquerque, the very first AG in town. Harold with wife Glenn and son Larry then helped pioneer Second Assembly, north of town (officially Revival Tabernacle). When Dad moved the rest of us south of town, we helped found yet another Assemblies of God Church, Valley Gospel Tabernacle with grandpa’s (my Mom’s Dad) revival tent as the initial sanctuary.
We got behind Valley Gospel AG as a natural outgrowth of those musically-accented home Bible study-worship times. I can hear Harold’s accordion (he was a classically trained pianist, but it’s not practical to drag a Steinway around) blending with Dad’s banjo or mandolin with other family members on a couple of guitars, trombone, and a second accordion. But I can also hear the various voices, not merely in joyous song, but in Bible reading and teaching, followed by questions, answers, and prayer.
You should know that along with the Bible, Dad read Spurgeon shaded by a Lutheran heritage. He migrated to the AG brand of Pentecostalism after meeting up with the Salvation Army people as a soldier in France. The SA folk had just enough charismatic flair that later Dad went looking for what logically went with the SA fire, the fullness of the Holy Spirit. His search led him to the AG folk whose theology, unlike many strands of early Pentecostalism, had just enough Reformed flavor that his search ended.
Dad was not a five point Calvinist, the Lutheran shading was too deep. But as for sovereign grace, well: sola scriptura, sola fide, sola gratia, solo Christo, soli Deo gloria.
He embraced fully the five solas of the Protestant Reformation: by Scripture alone, faith alone, grace alone, Christ alone, and glory to God alone.
So to hell with Harold alone.
This both Harold and I learned in Dad’s Reformed-flavored, Pentecostal-seasoned home Bible studies balanced with the solid classical wisdom of Western Civilization shaped by a strong connection to the organized church house. Dad believed good people from the apostles on had good things to say we needed to hear, and good people in the church house even during its most apostate times had preserved this body of wisdom and passed it along. We learned that this is how we received the biblical texts we now study, along with other historical documents that shine into present times with knowledge and understanding. As a given, then, we assumed a balance between our own creative, independent thinking and the settled, proven, accumulated knowledge of the past and present in our approach to Scripture. We held the opened Bible in one hand, the accumulated wisdom of church and civilization in the other. We read Scripture in the context of all of Scripture, but also all of Scripture in the context of all of reality, or at least that part of it accessible to us. In this way, we grew up learning to critique all the lame-brained religious theories that came along including especially date-based rapturism and lone-prophet messianism.
Hello Harold.
As can best be figured from Harold Camping’s own sources, at 89 years of age Harold is president of Family Stations, Inc., a California-based, non profit, ministry with worldwide broadcast facilities. These include more than 150 outlets in the United States.
With a Dutch Reformed Church background including a period teaching Bible classes, he earned a BS in Civil Engineering from UC Berkeley in 1942. After founding his own construction company, he went on to found Family Stations, Inc. aka, Family Radio with the help of a couple other people. Thereupon, he began accumulating FM licenses on commercial frequencies before many owned FM radios. His holdings now include affiliates in the New York City, Philadelphia, Baltimore/Washington, and San Francisco radio markets which are on prime commercial frequencies. Along the way Camping sold his construction company to serve as fulltime operator of Family Radio.
Obviously, he is a gifted business person with remarkable strategic foresight. As such, he is a brilliant marketer and extremely ambitious, even sinister competitor. In pursuing his vision for Family Radio, he left destruction behind, savagely decimating unsuspecting potential rivals while cornering a biased, one-sided hearing for his own views.
Following Harold
It happened that for awhile he provided access to radio broadcasting for many grateful pastors, even as he launched his own nightly call in show with a talk-radio format. Listeners and callers were primarily parishioners from churches with pastors with programs on Harold’s network. Strategically building a loyal audience from this group, he enticed his listeners with mysterious, esoteric, allegorical interpretations of Scripture merging his technical civil engineering-math background with various obscure biblical passages mentioning numbers. He sold this as hidden wisdom found nowhere else. To an alert Bible student this “nowhere else” claim rings alarms. But to the ordinary church goer it can seem to be a source of exciting, avant-garde, secret knowledge putting them “in the know,” as it were. Pastors had little chance for corrective teaching on air lest Harold pull the broadcast plug on them. Thus, he had deceptively allowed them to provide him with a loyal audience while painting themselves into the proverbial corner.
Then in 1994 Harold announced the End of the World, First Edition. He even published a book about it. When the prophecy failed, his way out was a brilliant marketing ploy: the Great Tribulation had begun and God had abandoned the church. He then began to urge his listeners to leave their churches all of which were now under God’s judgment. Harold alone had the skinny on the Bible. From now on, listeners should affiliate only with Family Radio as their voice of truth, authority, and direction. He literally pulled the plug on pastor’s who protested. Many churches lost members who exited, following Harold.
Now we have “End of the World, Second Edition.”
Dear Friends, this is Harold. I now see that Jesus will return on May 21, 2011, and the world will end on the following October 21. Send me all your money…
Yes, O Harold, the one and only.
Harold and me
You see my problem with Harold? Camping I mean. My brother Harold and me are tight; he is now in heaven with Jesus anyway. Ironically, I think, he just went the way that others will go to be with Jesus this coming May 21, notwithstanding the prediction of Harold, the one and only. I find it ironic because my brother, along with all believers who have died in the Lord, forecast exactly what will happen on May 21. He did this without saying a word way before Harold, the one and only, conjured up his false prophecy. How do I know it is false? Because out of all the days Jesus’ coming might happen, it will not happen on the day Harold predicts it. Jesus stated plainly no one knows the day or the hour of his coming. That makes Harold, the one and only, a liar, which is bad enough. But in lying about the meaning of my brother’s death as applied to the death of every believer in Jesus upcoming on May 21, he dirties the name Harold with deceit and greed.
So Harold Camping, we – Harold my brother retroactively, but I currently – call you to account before God in heaven and man on earth. Repent and believe the gospel. All liars will have their part in the Lake of Fire. So I predict now that apart from repentance you’re headed there. Harold, hell awaits. Knowing the Harold who wasn’t, he concurs.